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Tuesday 1 May 2012

MayDay Flash - 'Mr. May Day' by Antosh Wojcik


“Do you remember bank holidays?” Wayne whispers to Carla, a dark haired, pretty woman next to him. They watch the holiday maker flop as his pitch for Dicken's Day is rejected by the other board members.
             “Yeah. They were nice. Always worked on them though. Loved the extra pay.” She smiles.
             “NEXT!” booms The Boss, who leans back in his chair.
             “I hope we find one soon. I'm sick of this.” Wayne rubs his eyes with hairy hands. He talks through his palms. Carla chuckles quietly.
             The door opens and a colourful man in mismatched clothing walks it. He is garbed in pink and green check, right down to his toes. His shoes have bells on the tips. His grin touches his hairline, that is concealed under a tall hat.
             “NAME!” booms The Boss.
             “Mr May Day.” His voice is high and silly.
             “WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE?!”
             “Well. I know bank holidays are old fashioned and are responsible for the deficit BUT I think I have the solution.”
             Wayne pulls his head out of his hands. Every board member around the semi circle table leans forward on their chair, simultaneously.
             “GO ON!” booms The Boss, whose elbows look like they have sunk into the table surface with anticipation.
             “We bring back bank holidays, cut out all the menial, deistic ones we've crammed into the summer and make May Day the last one for ages. SO people work their arses off and mend the deficit.” Wayne leaps from his seat and claps. He is the only one.
             “I'd love bank holidays again sir.” He winks at The Boss, who ignores him.
             “WHAT WOULD IT CELEBRATE?”
             Mr May Day's smile lights up even more. “Paganism and drinking.”
             Each member of the stands and claps their hands, simultaneously. 

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